somebody once told me the world was gonna
end on december 21, 2012. i bought all of this fucking pasta as a way to celebrate the end of the world and now i’m $10,000 in debt and i have pasta everywhere in my house
i ain’t the sharpest tool in the shed
A human getting pissed at their vampire boyfriend so they put in a silver sterling tongue stud and bracelets and earrings and their vampire boyfriend is just standing five feet away like “babe. c’mon.”
Vampire: “The fair is in town, maybe a date will help…”
human spends the whole time in the hall of mirrors
WE HAVE A NEW WINNER.
AMERICA DOESNT KNOW THE JOY OF TERRYS CHOCOLATE ORANGE
WHAT THE HECK IS THAT I SWEAR TO GOD IF THIS IS ANOTHER FANTASTIC CANDY WE’RE MISSING I
HOW DO YOU GUYS LIVE WITHOUT TERRY’S
who’s gonna go over to fish and chips piss city and tell these british wanks chocolate oranges exist everywhere
We call ships ‘she.’ We call our war machines ‘women.’ We compare women to black widows and vipers. And you’re going to tell me it’s not ‘lady-like’ to scream, to take up space, to fight and demand respect and do whatever l I want. You’ve looked at nuclear bombs and been so in awe that you could only name them after women. Don’t try to down-play my power.
I want to frame this and put it next to my computer.